I’ve been thinking about this for a while.
What not to bring to class in May?
Mother’s Day?
It’s difficult
Some kids are not as lucky as others.
Some homes are not as comfortable and cosy as the others.
My daughter came home today and said how much she missed me when the teacher taught them a song called Mum, my dearest mum in Turkish. I couldn’t say anything to her.However, I knew that a friend of her doesn’t have a mum.
Later she said they copied a poem in their notebooks and the teacher said the one who loved her/ his mum very much would write neatly in the notebook. She said they were all very careful while writing.
What next? On Wednesday, there will be a short performance for the mothers. How about the kids who don’t have mothers, or how about the kids whose mothers wouldn’t be lucky enough to get permission to watch them?
Mother’s Day is heartbreaking. Luckily, schools are close on Father’s Day. Yet, they are also heartbreaking.
Isn’t mother’s day also hearbreaking for some women, too?
I don’t know what to say or how to feel.
What can we do?
Do we really need these days to remember our parents?
If we just remember them on these days, it means there is something missing or wrong.
No Mother’s Day gift or song or poem can be enough for me to show my gratitude to my mum.
I can’t even continue to write.
I’m so , well…
The kids who are not lucky enough shouldn’t feel how unlucky they are on these special days.
I don’t do any mother’s day activities in my classes but there are other classes…
I just want to say let’s not celebrate Mother’s Day at schools. At least, we teachers, can do something for the unhappy hearts.
PS: This post was written on Monday but I wasn’t sure whether I should publish it or not. I’m still not sure about it.
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I don’t know… it’s a funny one isn’t it – I know where you’re coming from and I understand what you’re saying as a teacher and woman but sometimes I think we make a really big effort to protect children from life but does it help? I mean in the long run?
Life isn’t beautiful. It just isn’t. It’s full of cancerous sores and disappointments and horrid events that happen to wonderful people… But isn’t that why we treasure beautiful people and beautiful events, isn’t it those rare beautiful moments that make life life?
What about the child who would like to imagine what his mother would be like if he could have one. By not talking about this, do you rob him of his imagination and hope that one day he would be loved?
I don’t know. Maybe it is better to never build his expectations.
And what about the mothers who work really hard all day and are ignored – yes, it would be so lovely if their families remembered to thank them daily but we don’t, do we?
By not making cards in the classroom or teaching them songs to sing, do we take away the joy of having a special day away from the mothers?
Should we pretend that no matter which way you turn, no matter which road you take, someone is going to get hurt because life is like that?
Random thoughts, I enjoyed your musings Eva!
K
Thanks for the comment Karenne,
You are right. This is a tough decision. May be I became too sensitive after I became a mother, I don’t know.
Maybe this over and over thing made me oversensitive, I really don’t know. It’s because of these thoughts I couldn’t post it immediately but..
Anyway, it’s always great to chat with you.
Eva
This is a tough one. I’ve been on both sides–I was one of the kids without a mom during the Mother’s Day class crafts, and then a teacher expected to include something for Mother’s Day in my own classes.
My compromise was to let students choose someone they wanted to thank for caring for them, “like a mother.” It could be a parent (mother or father) or grandparent, or guardian, or sibling, or friend. Switching the focus from mothers only seemed to work well. In some cases, the process of identifying someone to thank seemed to make children feel better about their own situations.
Equally sticky is occupations–having children talk about what their parents do when economic times are tough and their parents may not actually have jobs 🙂
Thanks for sharing your thoughts in your blog. I always appreciate your honest examination of what we do.
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Dear Barbara,
It’s usually more difficult with younger kids but if they are lucky enough to have a parent, a grandma, aunt or sibling, it may help them.Yes, you have a point if they have somebody to thank it may help heal their pains.
We can even try to turn a hard and gloomy day to a bright and sunny day.
The teacher of the class, if a bit careful, will know the best for her students.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.:)
Eva
Hey Eva, sorry to hear it’s a sad day for you or people you know. I think it’s a good day. Many mothers aren’t shown any respect for the very difficult jobs they do and this serves as a reminder. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t think about them on other days as well.
I think for many children and mothers this is a very important day. Of course, we must be sensitive to those who feel differently or are in different situations, but I don’t think we should not celebrate the holiday just because some don’t.
In America, some kids don’t come to school on Halloween because their families don’t believe in the holiday and that’s ok. Most people have fun and enjoy it though. Someone will always feel left out on any holiday, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have it, just that we should be aware of diversity and be willing to accept other attitudes.
Hug
Thanks Nick for the comment.
I guess kids learn how to tackle with difficulties.
You have a point there at least once a year some mothers recieve some respect from the family members. That one day can turn into a feast for them.
The thing I am against is actually the constant repetition. There should be a balance.
And I totally agree with Barbara that there may be othere who stand by the kid and those people can be the focus of the kids’ attention.
Life is harsh, there are so many difficulties, other parent-kid problems, losses, and yes you are right about the attitudes.
Eva
Just came across this comic http://www.sinfest.net/archivepage.php?comicID=353 🙂
Yes Mother’s Day might cause a lot of sad feelings in our classrooms. But what should we do? kids should be given the opportunity to express their love for their mothers. Motherless kids can always choose someone to thank, as Barabar said above. This is very tough. But it’s life.